Here’s a cool trick to see if a man actually respects you: try disagreeing with him
A friend of mine did something with online dating where, before meeting a person, she’d say no to something minor without a reason for the no. For example: “No, I don’t want to meet at a coffee shop, how about X?”, or “No, not Wednesday”, or “No, I don’t want to recognize each other by both wearing green shirts”. She said how the potential dates reacted was a huge indicator of whether she actually wanted to meet them, something I readily believe.
I’ve mentioned this to a few people and sometimes I get very annoyed and incredulous responses from guys about how are they supposed to know that it’s a test if the girl is being unreasonable? How are they supposed to know that and let her have her way? I find it difficult to explain that if you find it unreasonable for someone to have a preference of no consequence which they don’t feel the need to explain, then you are the one being unreasonable. You can decide for yourself that it sounds flaky and you don’t want to date her, but you don’t have a right to know and approve all of her reasons for things in order to deign to respect that she said no about it. Especially in the case of someone you haven’t even fucking met yet.
The point isn’t to know it’s a test, the point is that if you would only say “yes” if you knew it was a test, then what if it’s not a test, but because she hates coffee shops, or because she’s attending a funeral Wednesday and doesn’t know you well enough to want to share that, or whatever else? Because if you’re making rules for when other people can have preferences and not explain why… yeah, that is a thing they can reasonably want to avoid.
a while back i mentioned this very method as a way of testing a new friendship, and got some pushback from all genders. toxic people exist in every category, and their response to an unexplained refusal will out them every time.
i mean, i’m sure some of those objecting were simply idealists who found the notion of testing a new friend unpleasant. but mostly it was the “but what if it’s unreasonable” objection. my dudes, that is the damn point.
“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”
not even risking that shit
scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button.
She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.
Nope. I know better, have your reblog Madame Zeroni.
who the fuck is Madame Zeroni
Look at these stupid children who don’t know who Madame Zeroni is
☝🏾😂
Man lissen if you don’t know you better ask somebody AFTER you hit the reblog button
Idk who she is but I have an exam today so I’ll reblog her
idk who she is but i have an exam today so i’ll reblog her ^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!
Because wise, I am.
Oh fucks no she’s back lmao must reblog. I’m sorry guys
01. Learn how to play Lupang Hinirang and Selena’s Thinking of You on the keyboard.
02. Get to know each of the O-Zen cards again and document progress in this here Tumblr.
03. Do Project 52 on Instagram (account name: linguafrancka).
04. Exercise with the weighted hula hoop every damn day.
05. Master some Filipinx dishes. Aim to have at least five down by the end of the year.
06. Practice QiGong under the guidance of online videos.
07. Read more new books and not the same set over and over.
01. I resolve to write O-ZEN-related learning and reading in this blog every damn day. I don’t think I’ll continue my Japanese learning this year but it’s still possible next year.
02. I also resolve to get back to playing on the keyboard. I have two pieces in mind I want to master by the end of the year.
03. I need to figure out which physical activity I can maintain doing everyday. QiGong came to mind but I would like to learn how to hula as well. We’ll see.
Debating whether to keep my domain or not. I have not used it in ages and I have a married name now which I intend to use in papers. Plus, with the repeal of net neutrality, I am feeling rather hopeless about the efficacy of online publishing in my professional life. But we’ll see.
I’m not shocked but honestly I’m so disappointed. I’m a girl who grew up in Kolkata, someone who grew up hearing about Mother Teresa and to be honest I hate the fact that the liberal, white, Western media has held this woman as some sort of paragon of virtue. And she really wasn’t. Here are some things she did:
She was so anti-abortion that she actually used her Nobel Peace Prize speech to rail against population control, family planning and abortion.
She supported Indira Gandhi’s declaration on the state of emergency in 1975, saying “People are happier. There are more jobs. There are no strikes.”
She idolised poverty and suffering, stating that she thought it was beautiful that the poor had accepted their lot in life. But when it came to her, she would check herself into expensive clinics, in the West, in order to treat her own illnesses.
She was also associated with and supported corrupt businessmen such as Charles Keating and Robert Maxwell, as well as the dictatorial Duvalier family and Albanian dictator Enver Hoxha.
She encouraged members of her order to secretly baptise dying patients with no regard for their own faiths.
Her public image was super misleading because
only a few hundred people are served by even the largest of the homes. In 1998, among the 200 charitable assistance organisations reported to operate in Calcutta, hers wasn’t even ranked among the largest organisations- there were others doing a much better job.
In 1991, a journalist visited the home and described the medical care the patients received as “haphazard” and he observed that sisters, who had no medical knowledge, had to make decisions about patient care, because of the lack of doctors there.
Her order did not distinguish between curable or incurable patients, so that people who could otherwise survive would be at risk of dying from infections and lack of treatment. She herself described her houses as the Houses of the Dying.
She reinforced the popular colonialist image of the white woman giving up her life to save the souls of the “wretched” brown people.
There are more shady things about her but I’m over this beatification of Mother Teresa. I’m over her, and I’m over this constant fawning. Kolkata isn’t the “city where Mother Teresa lived”. It has it’s own identity and Mother Teresa doesn’t, at least in my opinion, deserve this honour that the Catholic Church is bestowing on her.
